Sighs. What a day. Honestly I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to make little ones outfit. I guess I just wasn't betting on this being her worst week for temperament of her entire life because she is bored of it here. I can't blame the darling, wanting to learn and wanting constant stimulation of conversation and being tired of her toys. I was the same way but I had siblings to terrorize while she only has me to test things out on. Thankfully I did have help from my wonderful church, I had too have ladies come over twice to take her off my hands for a couple of hours but due to her fits of being around new people I still only managed a few items. I will prevail!!! I have spent too much time for my quest to be in vain!!!!! I just have to attached the wings and finish the decorations (and get my car fixed and keep up with her all before tomorrow at four pm.....).
Today has left me thinking about religon. I went out to help some friends teach someone they met who is atheist but wanted to know about religon (for curiosities sake not because he had a spark of belief). I found it quite refreshing to be around a person who was honestly seeking to know about the beliefs of others. I am just so glad that I have a firm belief myself and have already taken the time to learn of other religions and come to a sound understanding and belief in my own. I find religion facisnating. Theology is especially one of my favorite subjects. Lucky me I have a friend in school to become a pastor and he keeps recommending books, can't wait to read them. I haven't read a good book in so long (can't be satisified by the popular titles as they aren't deep enough for me). Maybe one of these days I will finish unpacking and will have the time and money to get my hands on some good literature and be able to read during nap time. Sadly by the time we are done moving and have extra money she will probably have already grown out of her naps. Ah well, one of these days.
I had a really interesting dream the other night thinking of religion. In my dream it was next year and the earth quake that signals the opening of the seventh seal in the Book of Revelations (the one that shakes the entire earth where it reals too and fro like a drunken man) had happened. In the dream I am closing this stain glass cover and pressing start and looking out at the rolls of earth with debre in the crevess. I was working as a mortician. I had found someone to apprentice under part time and he had taught me everything, and so I was well versed in embalming and burial. I was in his mortuary running a machine he had built that washed and dried the body for you. I had the knowledge in the dream that I was working somewhere not far from my inlaws but close to where my parents where and I was burying the bodies. I went out and spoke with a group of survivors that had banded near by (there where not many survivors - like maybe a few hundred in the area that had held tens of thousands). They thought I was stupid for wasting my time trying to id the bodies and burying them, I said that the way we treat our dead says allot about a people and left. They where talking about trying to find another survivors colony further south and where hoping there would be more food and someone who knew how to live off the land. I suggested we just live off of the land here, and they just laughed at me. I generally seemed to regard them as childish, scared, and in such mourning over there loved ones that they wanted to move on. I went back with the intent to dig another shallow grave and deposit the body with what market I could - namley where outside I found them and when and a general discription of features. Most of the people that died where burried in the rekage. I was just burrying those that had tried to get outside and didn't make it. I was perfectly happy with my post and life. I didn't miss society and didn't lose my child, husband, or dog. The basement of my inlaws had survived in part and us in it. We had enough food from what we could pull out of the desemated houses around us and otherwise find strewn in the debree. Aaron was at home playing with Ellowyn and I was cleaning up the landscape of the bodies so as to have a healthy place to live. Most of the houses where buried in the rolls of earth, and I would be done with the bodies before long. I had it in my mind to go to the library which hadn't been buried and find some books about living off of the land and while I figured it out head over the major shopping center a few miles away and find what might be left of the grocery stores and eat whatever I found. After this contemplation while preparing the body I went and spoke with my brothers and asked about dinner the night before - which was the first night after the quake. They where grinning about the meat they had found and living it Davy Crockett style, and promised to teach me how to skin and cook a animal so I could enjoy hunting what was left for supplemental food. We where talking about figuring out a way to get a refrigorator running or otherwise preserving the meat through the summer. We figured our state was pretty good to live in because we had four seasons which would help with the farming and all, wouldn't want to live in a desert with no way to get ice but then again we also thought maybe it would be better to move a bit further south just so the winter wasn't so severe, but winter was so far away we weren't going to worry about that - especially with the shelter I had that was easily completable and easy to insulate and keep warm with a fire. We laughed about just throwing the leftover meat outside since there are no predetors in the area. People thought we where nuts for being so ok with everything, but we figured you couldn't change what happened, couldn't change that we had survived, believe in a life after death for all the ones who hadn't made it, and the warning was right in the bible. They gave me a rifle and I started to head home looking at the mortuary and grateful for the man who taught me the skill before the tragedy took his life. It was so vivid and real. When I woke up to a complete basement and Aaron off to work it took me back a little. I hadn't thought about the earthquake in awhile. I used to be scared to death as a kid of it because my Dad thought that we where somewhere between the sixth and seventh seal, in the 30year gap that ge saw as not accounted for in the scriptures (before Christ and after death - nothing to account for the life inbetween), and figured that it could come at anytime. The older I got the more I realized it didn't matter and eventually all but forgot about it. What a weird dream. Between that and the tsunami in Indonesia it really made me realize how insignificant so many things are in the long run. Really makes you think about whats most important. In my opinion what is most important is: being comfortable with yourself and set in your beliefs, living a good life, enjoying your time in this life, and loving your children as much as possible to make every day of theirs blessed. Short and simple.
For anyone who reads this my request is that you structure your life so that if you where to die tomorrow you would have no serious regrets about how you lived it.
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