I ended up seriously contemplating the reasons I don't mind and almost enjoy my dreams where society ends. I think I do enjoy them. I have honestly ruled that it is because I feel like its just fact, the bible and many other holy texts warn of plagues, or earthquakes, floods, and other upheavals. Also it brings the bad stupid people to judgment sooner, and the good people to there reward sooner. This life is so short as it is. Really how many people who are dying that are old tell you that it seems like yesterday they where 20? Pretty much all of them say that life went by so fast. So, if its cut down by a few years then hopefully you lived it too its fullest and are ready for what lies ahead. Many people don't believe in a afterlife, either because there is no fact or that its easier not too. I say whatever floats your boat. I was accused recently that my belief in a afterlife is just to sooth my brain, to make me feel better so I will sleep better at night and don't have to face the fact. My response? Well maybe its working because I am almost 25 and only have 2 gray hairs, and whats so wrong with that? I mean think about it whether its too sooth your mind or because you actually believe in it, it feels right to most people and what harm does it do? None, and most of the time it does a lot of good. So, take the good and tell the stupid haters to go jump off a bridge and find out for themselves :)

The more I think about it the more I realize that it doesn't matter what people think of what you think as long as you feel good in your own soul. If you feel good about your beliefs and have peace in your soul then you are going to be happier, healthier, and have a higher quality of life - and with how short it is you better not be wasting it! I don't mean eat drink and be merry, as I have yet to find a partier that is truly happy, I mean be well. Really think about it "live long and prosper", haven't found a better way to say it. I think that is really the key to have that peace and prosperity and to enjoy it. I would not hear that it takes time to gain prosperity and everyone has different idea's of prosperity. For instance I would be happy in a small cottage (compared to my in-laws house small, probably more average size for normal houses), on a big lot near a city but not in it with enough to travel once or twice a year to see family and to not have to worry about bills. For me that would be prosperity, for Aaron, well that's a whole different story. He wants all that and a house bigger then his parents and as many children as we can handle well. Contrast that with my good friend who just wants someone to share his life with, a place to hunt, and money for toys. I think if we just concentrate on achieving our levels of prosperity and let the rest worry about itself, then how much better off are we?

On that thought, yes I am in a better mood today. No, today hasn't gone any better then yesterday. The difference? I think the main help is vitamin D supplements. Turns out here in the cold north we don't get enough sun during the winter to process vitamen D even if everything we eat is fortified with it, and so if we take vitamin D supplements then we can be happier easier. I myself have noticed a big difference between the days that I take it and the days that I don't.

As for today. This morning I noticed that little ones legs had grown considerably recently, I was afraid she was going to be clumsy and boy was I right. All day long she was falling, or not judging distances right, which led to other things like dropping stuff on her toes or being knocked over by the dogs, falling down the stairs, stumbling, and many other things. Poor dear. Thankfully with a lot more singing and attention from me she was still mostly happy today. I have found that the more I sing the happier she is, which is good because I have been coaxed into singing in a Christmas program on Sunday - their ploy is that the choir sounds absolutely horrible so I will be a breath of fresh air no matter how bad I sound lol.

My phone turns off on Monday, so we will see how that goes. I think it will be fine. I am just going to open up a skype account so I can still talk to my brother, use email for txt'ing, and the home phone for my friend who calls allot. Then if I charge up the tom tom it should all be peachy keen. Both Aaron and I are so relieved at not having that bill, which thanks to verizon, was always bigger then it should be. To have just one guaranteed solid payment a month until we pay off the disconnect fee's will be so nice. I think if I ever do get a phone in the future it sure as heck won't be with verizon, bloodsucking thieves. Every so often they would take some block off my plan and I would end up with heinous charges for something, most months infact it was off and they never would negotiate it down much back to what it should be.

On another note I actually went to a salon to get my hair cut. Not sure what to think about it, I think I am glad I didn't pay for it and never plan on paying for it. It was nice to have someone that is paid to talk to me and be my friend, I mean who doesn't like that, but at the same time I could have done it myself and had it look just about as good and just cost time not the nearly $50 my Mother in law paid. It was nice of her, but she didn't give me a choice, and so I am not sure how I feel about it. I mentioned I wanted her to take the baby so I could have more time to cut it, a couple hours so I got it right as it was my first time using thinning shears, and she asks Aaron if I would rather go to a salon, he comes to me and I say that I am unsure and would rather just do it myself (this was all last night), he relays that back to her (frikin why don't they just talk to me?), and then the next day she comes home at 2:30, tells me I have a appointment at 3:30 at her salon and that its all paid for so I must go. Like really? First of all where is my choice, and secondly shouldn't I have say in the time? Then when I came back and said thank you she just made comments on the cut and went back to what she was doing. Seriously weird. Weird weird weird weird. I think I am just going to chalk it up to experience and call it a night.